


all the moments you (don't) remember

by izukillme



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Memory Loss, Not Canon Compliant, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26664439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izukillme/pseuds/izukillme
Summary: When a simple spy mission for the rebel group Fairy Tail goes horribly awry, Natsu is presumed dead by his guildmates and fiance Gray. However, he's actually been alive all along, as is proven when he shows back up at the guild. But something is wrong, terribly so.It's not five minutes into Natsu's return that Gray discovers the awful truth. His memories are gone, replaced by a fake past. This Natsu has never been to Fairy Tail, never fought as a rebel... never known Gray.Meanwhile, Natsu has a million questions, and all of them begin at the strange red birdlike stamp on his arm—the sigil of this 'Fairy Tail Guild'. However, the more he comes to know about it, the more queries he has. Is his father Igneel's recent death somehow connected to these people? How the hell did he get the mark in the first place? And why, oh why, does he feel so strangely drawn to a certain Gray Fullbuster?Swept up in the tide of an inevitable war, Natsu and Gray must work together to gain any advantage they can against the android scientist Acnologia, get to know each other all over again and grapple with their growing feelings. It isn't going to be easy—but then, when has anything been easy when it comes to these two?
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20
Collections: Fairy Tail Reverse Bang 2020





	all the moments you (don't) remember

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my wonderful girlfriend, [Pine](https://fineapplethepineapple.tumblr.com), for creating the GORGEOUS art for this story! I have loved working with you. You are such a breath of fresh air, so talented and clever and loving. I am so, so excited, both to continue and finish this fic, and to step into a new chapter of my own life with you. I love you <3
> 
> Much gratitude to my amazing beta, @[useless-slytherclaw](https://chaosisthemethod2themadness.tumblr.com)! She has turned this story from an incoherent ramble to something that (I hope) you guys will actually enjoy reading. 
> 
> Thanks so much to the event mods for hosting this! I had a wonderful time writing and participating, as well as in the amazing space you guys created. It's been real!
> 
> And finally, thank you to everyone reading this. A writer is nothing without their readers. So thank you for taking the time to read my story, thank you for paying attention to my words, and I really hope it lives up to the standards that both you, dear reader, as well as I, have set for myself.
> 
> [ART HERE](https://fineapplethepineapple.tumblr.com/post/630341605402017792/all-the-moments-you-dont-remember-chapter-1)

**_S…ject 7…_ **

_ Currently unresponsive… has not taken well to treatment… A powerful will… sure that my technique… wear it down. Results must be produced… at— _

_ from an abandoned lab at Hargeon, possibly belonging to an Etherious _

* * *

“I’ll be  _ fine. _ ” Natsu said, cupping Gray’s face in his hands and smiling reassuringly. “I’ve done so many missions like this before. I’ll be in and out within the month, and so will the info we need.”

“I know,” Gray said quietly, looking away. “You’re one of our best recon agents. Still, I can’t help being worried; it’s dangerous. And where you’re going, too…” 

Natsu laughed and flicked his nose.

“I get it, silly. I was worried that time you went out to fight Doriate all alone.” he said teasingly. “But you came back in one piece. Just trust that I will too.”

“That was a straight battle,” Gray pointed out. “This? What if you’re found out? What if they—"

Natsu placed a finger on his lips, stopping the words. He tilted his head to the side, mouth widening in his characteristic smile. 

“Gray,” he whispered lovingly. “I promise to come back home safe.”

“Promise to come back to  _ me _ safe,” Gray replied, not meeting Natsu’s eyes. A hand on his chin, however, turned his face back to his still-smiling fiance.

“You idiot,” Natsu said fondly. “You  _ are  _ my home, okay?” 

Tears pricked at Gray’s eyes, but he forced them down with the iron will that he had developed over the years.

“Yeah,” he forced out. “I know. You’re my home, too.”

“I love you.” Natsu murmured, squeezing Gray’s hands.

“I love you.” Gray replied, squeezing back, then letting go. Natsu nodded firmly, dropping Gray’s hands and stepping away. With one last, blinding smile directed at his fiance, he turned around and headed out of the room. 

As Gray watched him walk away with a straight back and assured stride, he felt the worry in his heart ease a little. He knew that Natsu wasn’t thinking of him right now; the only thing on his mind would be the mission, how best to infiltrate Mard Geer’s labs and get the information they needed. That laser focus and Natsu’s innate ingenuity was what had saved him so many times.

Besides, Natsu had promised to come back—and he never broke his promises. 

Blowing out a breath and expelling his worries with it, Gray finally turned around and headed up to the training room to work on his ice powers. It wouldn’t do for him to get rusty while Natsu was gone.

He climbed the stairs quickly and opened the door of the training room to find Erza practicing on a punching bag. When she saw him, she smiled and lowered her fists in a silent question; Gray grinned back and ripped off his shirt. It fell in a corner of the room, but he didn’t give it a second glance, intent on his opponent in the middle of the room. 

Erza cracked her knuckles and stretched, preparing for the bout that was to follow. Gray did the same, feeling adrenaline in his veins at the upcoming spar. Erza was always a great partner to fight with—she’d beat you hollow, but she would help you get better in the process, tossing out tips while observing her opponent. Of course, that was only in practice against her fellow resistance fighters. On the battlefield, Erza was absolutely ruthless with her dual swords; Gray had had the pleasure of watching her completely decimate the armies of the Etherious Lullaby, the android himself having retreated after witnessing her skills.

“Three, two, one,” Erza counted down, and as the last syllable passed her lips, she sprang nimbly at him. Gray dodged quickly and came back up with an axe kick—a mistake, because Erza immediately grabbed his ankle. Gray pushed up against her powerful grip, using his extra three inches to get free; it worked, and he jumped back, getting into a defensive stance.

Erza rushed forward again, coming straight at Gray. Though she was fully capable of it, she never came up with complicated strategies; her sheer power and skill could make even the simplest blow fatal. Gray’s dodge was just in time.

_ Why don’t I cheat a bit?  _

He smirked, straightening up, and pulled off the flesh-coloured sleeve that covered his entire right arm. What lay beneath was a metallic structure that looked like a multitude of gnarled tree roots in the shape of a hand. Gray flexed the clawed fingers and inhaled deeply, concentrating energy to the tips of the hand. He smiled in satisfaction when a soft blue glow hovering over the metal confirmed his success. 

As Erza leaped at him, Gray brought his arm up, flattening the metallic palm to face her. The energy condensed over his hand burst out in the shape of a snowflake, dissipating to reveal the formation of a thick wall of ice. Erza was quick to change stances midair, using her foot to push backwards off the wall and skidding to a halt behind it. Gray flicked his hand; the ice dissipated, and he started to gather more energy for his next attack.

“That’s cheating,” Erza tutted, drawing herself up into a defensive stance. 

“You never said I couldn’t do that,” Gray said with a smirk.

“True,” Erza said, tilting her head thoughtfully. “Then I suppose it won’t be cheating if I do  _ this,  _ either?”

Before Gray could blink, she had already run over to the other side of the room and taken out her dual broadswords. Returning to position, she raised the swords and pointed them directly at him.

“Two can play at this game,” she said with a predatory smile. Gray returned it and met the sword that was about to fall upon his neck with solid ice. 

As they continued, he lost himself in the spar, forsaking the outside world for the sweet freedom of fighting. Of course, he wasn’t going at full power, but the burn in his muscles set him at ease. It wasn’t all he had, but it was a vocal part of him, and it felt good to indulge sometimes. 

After a good ten minutes, Erza pinned him up against the wall in an unforgiving chokehold. Gray struggled for air, gasping out, “I give,” so she would let him down. When he had caught his breath, she assumed her stance once more; Gray took the invitation, and soon they were absorbed in sparring again. This time, neither used ice or swords, and their bout lasted for a few minutes before Erza pinned Gray once more. They continued practicing for another few hours, taking short breaks in between—the final round was nearly fifteen minutes, and Erza smiled approvingly at Gray after helping him up from where she had kicked him.

“Well done. You lasted much longer this time,” she told him, a note of pride in her voice. 

“I’ve been training a lot,” Gray said modestly.

“Cut the crap. You’re proud of yourself too,” Erza teased, punching him lightly (well, by her standards) in the upper arm. Sheathing her swords on her back, she left the training room. Gray groaned, hoping that his arm wouldn’t bruise too badly, and followed her out. 

The next few weeks passed quietly. Natsu’s communications came through crystal-clear; the mission was going beautifully. He’d been able to get huge chunks of information about the Etherious androids and how they worked. It was helpful, both for the war and for Gray and Natsu themselves—maybe Natsu would find out why they both possessed such strange powers, and how to properly use them. 

The underlying sense of unease that Gray had been feeling about this mission was slowly starting to dissipate too. Natsu was so close to getting his hands on the remaining details, and if all went well he would be back within the week. Gray just wanted him to be home. He hated to admit it, wanting to be strong, but he missed Natsu’s warmth in bed and the way the pink-haired man would hum while cooking and all the little things that he hadn’t even known mattered to him. 

Gray sighed, gently thumbing the ring that hung around his neck. He usually wore his sword pendant, but today he’d put his engagement ring on the necklace on the logic that having a piece of Natsu close to his heart would keep his fiance safe. It sounded stupid, but Gray was okay with being stupid as long as Natsu was secure and happy.

“Gray.  _ Gray. _ ” said an urgent voice suddenly. Gray snapped out of his thoughts, refocusing on the real world to find Juvia hovering over him with a worried look on their face.

“Yeah?” he asked, at once alert and ready to go. If Juvia looked concerned, it was usually a serious matter—they normally wore an expression of dead calmness.

“It’s Natsu.” they said quickly.

Those two words were enough to set Gray on edge. He sprang up from his seat with alarm and rage, cold blue light starting to form under his mechanical palm.   


“What happened to Natsu?!” he hissed, leaning forward into Juvia’s face. The wooden table started to frost over, but Gray couldn’t be bothered to give a damn right now. Apparently, Juvia didn’t either, because they didn’t even try to calm him down.

“His communication was supposed to come today. It’s two full hours late,” they said tightly. “Juvia doesn’t know what’s going on. They know Natsu’s always on time with these… they checked our equipment, and it’s all working fine. Lucy suggested that it might be an issue on Natsu’s end, but Juvia honestly thinks it’s not likely.” They bit their lower lip, looking unsurely up at him—clearly, they didn’t want to verbalise the obvious alternative.

“Let’s…” Gray found it difficult to talk, too caught up in the possibility of Natsu—

No.  _ No _ . He refused to go there.

“Do we have to think the worst?” he forced out. “Lucy could be right…” Juvia shook their head, looking sombre.

“Juvia is sorry, Gray. But they truly cannot give you any assurances of hope. What’s most likely is—"

“Don’t say it!” Gray shouted, loud enough to completely silence the soft murmur of chatter in the main hall. He slammed his hand down into the table, and the glass of water he’d been drinking crashed onto the floor, smashing into pieces and spilling everywhere.

“Gray…” Juvia whispered, their voice full of sympathy. Gray clenched his jaw in fury and despondence.

“Don’t… Juvia, just…  _ don’t. _ ” he whispered, voice ragged. “Don’t even  _ think  _ about it.” Juvia stood stock-still, not breathing a word as Gray stalked out of the hall, his lean frame brimming with anger.

A few days later, however, he was coming to realise that Juvia had been right. If it was a problem with his communications device, Natsu would’ve fixed it immediately and called within the next day or two. But it had been a week, and Gray was losing his mind with worry.

“You’re going to wear the thing out,” said Gajeel wearily as he watched Gray pace up and down the carpet in Makarov’s office. “Just sit down—”

“I  _ can’t  _ sit down!” Gray bit out. “What if it were Laxus on this mission, huh? What would you do then? You’d be just as worried as I am now!”

“I would,” Gajeel said with a soft sigh. “But dude, you gotta chill out a little. You worrying yourself sick won’t help Natsu—and it won’t make Gramps tell us this urgent news about the kid any faster.”

“Oh, wow!” Gray snapped, rolling his eyes. “Thanks, Gaj, I didn’t know that me sitting here going crazy about my fiance wouldn’t magically bring him home. If I did, I would’ve stopped sooner!”

Gajeel gave him a mild glare, but didn’t comment further. Erza, Lisanna, and Lucy, conferring quietly on the other side of the room, didn’t either (though they did give him concerned looks, which he pointedly ignored).

The door to the office swung open then, and a diminutive man in a rather odd choice of clothing walked in, calling out, “Children!” 

Gray spun to face the man so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash, a million questions on his tongue, but they all died out the minute he saw the look on Makarov’s face. It was a heavy expression, the wrinkled mouth puckered near the edges, the dark eyes sad and downcast—and it told Gray everything he needed to know.

Shock and fear coursed up his spine, chilling his blood. It couldn’t be, it just  _ couldn’t.  _ But the expression Makarov was wearing couldn’t mean nothing else. 

“He’s not!” The words burst out of his mouth involuntarily. They floated in the air, as petulant and angry as those of a grieving child. “He can’t be…  _ tell me he isn’t!  _ You’re lying! You’re just trying to trick us—he’s fine, isn’t he? Natsu’s going to—he’s gonna walk in with that stupid grin of his and tell me that he came home and you’re gonna start laughing ‘cause you could finally pull one over on me. That’s what’s going to happen, right?  _ Right?!”  _

His voice had risen to a shout by the end of the speech. At some point, tears had started to flow down his face. His cheeks felt warm, and he thought he was going to burst if he didn’t get a definitive answer.

Silence hung heavy in the air. 

Gray whipped his head from person to person; Gajeel and Lucy wore sober faces, and Erza’s brown eyes gleamed with sorrow. Lisanna’s face was covered in tears much like his own—her blue gaze met his, finding kinship in their grief for a split second.

Finally, desperately, Gray looked to Makarov. Silently, he begged and pleaded, shaking his head as fresh tears started running down his cheeks.

“No.  _ No. _ ”

Makarov just shook his head, his own eyes suspiciously shimmery. 

“I’m sorry, Gray,” he whispered. “I am so, so sorry. But Natsu’s been gone from Mard Geer’s lab for over two weeks. My intel says they caught him—there’s no chance he’s alive.”

The crushing finality of those last words was what made Gray snap completely. His knees weakened, and he dropped to the ground, his mechanical palm flat against the carpet. Blue light shot from it, freezing the room in seconds.

“ _ No!” _ he howled, the anguish and sorrow packed into that one word greater than anything the rest of the room’s occupants had ever heard.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me a comment if you enjoyed <3


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